Today has just been one of those days...I feel like I like outside the world and am looking in. It's on days like today...that I feel really alone. I know I should be used to this...and I guess I am...but I don't want things to be like this. I guess that's a good thing, nothing worse than accepting your life as unchangeable. I just want to be the person that people want to be around. Not the person that just is around and people don't seem to mind. I'd like for someone to actually call me and want to do something with me. I feel like I'm getting a lot of humoring remarks at times. A lot of empty promises or something. People say "we should do this sometime," never "let's do this now" or whenver. Something specific, something concrete...this is all I ask for. If I just dissapeared for a while, would anyone really notice? Would my so called "friends" wonder what happened? Would their lives change at all, not really. Just feels like there is something fundamentally wrong with life. I feel like Anakin...I'm not the person I should be...I want more. Problem is, no matter how hard I try, it always seems far away. Nothing ever feels accomplished.